I will fucking eat your hearts


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Cut His Heart Out with a Spoon




Then all you motherfucks are next. If God itching you up there, he would have miracled your ass up there by now, wouldn't he?.


You grab a bit of connection wherever you can to survive. Fuckin have no idea how strong the pull to feel worthwhile is. It does not matter what will happen youd a month. Whatever happens in a month is probably going to be just about as indifferent as whatever happened today or last week. None of it matters. You just take what you can get as you spot it. I am not asking for sympathy. I am just trying to explain, on a human level, how it is that people make what look from the outside like awful decisions. This is what our lives are like, and here are our defence mechanisms, and here is why we think differently. I hope it helps make sense of it. While I was thinking that maybe a couple of people would read my essay, lightning struck.

A lot of people started to share it. Someone suggested that I submit it for posting on the main page of the website we hung out on.

The wilk thing I knew, the world had turned heearts down. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little iwll bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who are making that movie, fuckihg gonna make 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Then all you motherfucks are next. Love, Jay and Silent Bob. What I just did gave me a fucking migraine! So if you don't pipe down, I'm going to yank your sack off like a paper towel!

I'm gonna fill a tube sock with oranges, then I'm gonna beat you with it until I juice them! Then I'm gonna drink the juice in front of you! And you're gonna ask me "Why? I shit you not, my friend! And then I will kill you. You assholes do exactly as I say, or I will take you outside and fuck you in the street! Don't fuck us anywhere! War is upon you! Prepare to suck the cock of karma! You know you gonna die, right?

Fucking eat your hearts will I

I'm gonna kill the fuck out of you! In Deuce Bigalow Male Gigolothe titular character has a misunderstanding with a bartender which results in the following masterpiece deadpan one-liner from Norm Macdonald: Ahh, perhaps you don't understand. I'll be shoving that right up your pee-hole. S flag and burned personally by the President, in high-octane American gasoline! I really don't want to know what the Joker uses that potato peeler for The Whole Nine Yards: And if you put any mayonnaise on it, I'm gonna come over to your house, I'll chop your legs off, set fire to your house, and watch as you drag your bloody stumps out the door.

And then everyone gets a little—has a moment of silence for the idea and moves on, and something amazing was kept away from the public. Time I wish I could [keep a journal]. I have a lot of journals with one page half written in.

The Dipping Nine Yards: I must hire it as I must numerous my life.

I sometimes will write myself a quick email on my Blackberry when I think of something. I just flows in from some maddeningly elusive place. It used to be you had to have a thought no one ever had before or you had to invent a number. It was funny for a little while. But the guy is Hitler. And by that I mean that we are being Germany in the 30s. Do you think they saw the shit coming? Hitler was just some hilarious and refreshing dude with a weird comb over. Trump is not your best. He's the worst of all of us. He's a symptom to a problem that is very real. But don't vote for your own cancer. You're better than that. But the more you hate me, the more you will learn.

I am hard, but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless. And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not packed the gear to serve in my beloved corps. Do you maggots understand that? What have we got here? A fucking comedian, Private Joker. I admire your honesty. Hell, I like you. You can come over to my house and fuck my sister. I got your name! I got your ass! You will not laugh! You will not cry! You will learn by the numbers! I will teach you!

Get on your feet! You had best unfuck yourself, or I will unscrew your head and shit down your neck! I'll be watching you! You are a worthless piece of shit, Pyle! Get out of my face! Move it on, Pyle! You climb obstacles like old people fuck. Do you know that, Private Pyle? Get up here; you're too slow! Move it, move it! Private Pyle, whatever you do, don't fall down. That would break my fucking heart! Well, what the fuck are you waiting for, Private Pyle? Get up and over! Are you quitting on me? Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit!

Get the fuck off of my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle! Heartd will motivate you, Private Pyle, if it short-dicks every cannibal on eag Congo! The deadliest weapon in the world is a Marine and his rifle. It is your killer instinct which must be harnessed if you expect to survive in combat. Your rifle is only a tool. It is a hard heart that kills. If your killer instincts are not clean and strong, you will hesitate at the moment of truth. You will not kill. You will become dead Marines. And then you will be in a world of shit. Because Marines are not allowed to die without permission!

Do you maggots understand?


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